In the early part of my professional career, I was always accustomed to receiving responses from people – they could be positive or negative – that didn’t matter, but people would respond for sure. However, in today’s fast-paced environment, I’ve increasingly noticed that it’s becoming typical not to hear back at all. It is becoming very common and this phenomenon that is also called “ghosting”.
Surprisingly, even senior leaders and seasoned professionals engage in ghosting today. And no, it’s not just a Gen Z or millennial issue—many Gen Xers are also resorting to it. I can’t help but wonder if this trend is driven by information overload, a discomfort with saying ‘no,’ or simply a shift in today’s communication norms. Whatever the reason, ghosting has become a leadership challenge that can undermine professional relationships and integrity.
The Leadership Predicament: Ghosting or Saying No?
Today’s leaders are inundated—endless WhatsApp messages, texts, emails, and relentless follow-ups. In contrast to earlier generations who valued prompt, structured communication, many modern leaders now respond by not responding at all.
But silence isn’t leadership. Ignoring messages may feel like a way to manage overload, but it often leads to confusion, frustration, and missed opportunities. I see increasingly that good professionals simply go quiet. I am not even talking about random cold messages from unknown people. People and leaders I know well have indulged in this.
Sometimes, a clear and respectful “no” is all that’s needed. It brings closure, sets boundaries, and shows professionalism. And, it’s almost always better than saying nothing.
Why Do People Ghost?
I don’t support ghosting as a principle, but I believe several factors contribute to this behavior, including:
- Mere Convenience: Leaders sometimes find it easier to just totally avoid a difficult conversation and they ignore the message completely.
- Fear of Confrontation: Some people dilly-dally to say “no” mainly out of the concern they have as they do not want to disappoint or upset the other person.
- Overload or Fatigue: There is a constant information flow today and also endless notifications and messages can sometimes just easily get lost in all this.
- Shifting Communication Norms: Social media and smart phones have created a culture where temporary disconnection is considered to be acceptable.
The Leadership Cost of Ghosting
While ghosting may seem convenient in the moment, it carries long-term consequences. There will always be damaged relationships as failing to respond can sour connections that once held potential. Another major cost is losing credibility. Unresponsiveness risks making you appear unreliable or dismissive and respect once gone is very difficult to earn back.
Also, ghosting can lead to the burning of professional bridges and it can close all future possibilities. For instance, I once had a senior leader and a past client who requested a detailed proposal from us which we delivered. Despite multiple follow-ups via email and WhatsApp, there was no response after that. This silence not only ended that opportunity but also made me averse to engaging with them in the future. It also made me wonder if they stole our idea and executed it themselves.
The Power of a Direct ‘No’
Leaders often underestimate the positive impact of a clear and direct “no.” But let me tell you, a firm yet polite rejection in reality shows confidence and clarity in communication. It sets realistic expectations, and prevents frustration or wasted effort from anyone involved. By being upfront, leaders can actually show some respect for the other party’s time.
Polite decliners like “Thank you for the opportunity, but I’m unable to commit at this time”, “I appreciate your request, but I have other priorities that require my focus” or “I’m unable to proceed with this, but I wish you the best with your initiative” will actually work!
How Leaders Can Foster Better Communication
Leaders can maintain professional relationships and uphold strong leadership values by following some tactics.
Firstly, always acknowledge messages, even if it is briefly. A simple “I’ll get back to you soon” is way better than silence. And if your schedule is tight, all you need to do is communicate your bandwidth honestly. Always be transparent about your priorities. People will understand.
Another thing to do is setting clear boundaries. You can define apt response times and expectations for your team and contacts to give them a realistic status.
Always encourage a culture of direct yet respectful communication and that will prevent ambiguity and promote trust.
Even in challenging circumstances, maintaining transparency and clear communication helps preserve the potential for future collaboration, preventing bridges from being burned. Ethics are crucial as well, and failing to communicate after gathering insights or ideas from others can create a lasting negative impression.
Leadership and Communication in the Digital Age
In this age of constant digital communication, ghosting has become an alluring shortcut for many. However, true leadership demands accountability and clear communication above all else. By saying ‘no’ instead of remaining silent, leaders demonstrate reliability, respect, and professionalism, qualities that inspire trust and strengthen connections.
So, the next time you’re tempted to ignore a message, remember this: a clear ‘no’ leaves a stronger impression than no response at all.
To read about Leadership in the age of AI, click here.
